(Sorry, there is nothing about narcissism here.)
Background
I've got a new job, I teach English speaking (?) in a rural high school in Hungary.I work on Wednesdays only, I have 5 groups, one lesson each.
On my very first workday I met 80+ new people. I didn't go the usual 'introduce yourself' round, it's pretty boring, there was a bit of learner training instead. However I think it's important to know them.
Anyways, I wouldn't have been able to remember so many names. Honestly, I'm not sure I could remember so many faces.
Then what? I thought when I meet them more often I'll learn the names. But hey, I'll meet them once a week!
What can be done? What? Do I hear you say ... Facebook????
Facebook is the platform of which a considerable element is displaying yourself. I already know the names of those students of mine who do something on Facebook. They just post something, I click on their profile and I have some kind of an picture of them which is just an impression but more than nothing.
What does one's Facebook activity tell about the person?
Is there an answer?On Facebook we don't really know who sees what. Similarly we have no idea what they conclude from what we post on Facebook. Usually it's not harmful but I have the feeling we might be a bit more aware of this issue.
Like I've repeatedly been warned in messages and face-to-face that I have no life. (It appears to some people that I'm always online, never get any fresh air, have no real human encounters. Pffffhahhhahhaaaaa! I see much more of the forest than they do though, khmm... no TV in the house.)
Facebook/social media is not so much different from our 3D world, is it? Just like in the offline world some are more talkative and some are silent, extroverts and introverts. Personally, I am of the noisier type. I'm nearly always online and love sharing everything. The reactions are not so noisy, not many likes or comments I get. I might have the impression that out of my over 700 friends about 10 people see what I put on my timeline. Then occasionally I get messages thanking me the useful stuff and I meet people in the shop with smiles on their faces. That means what I present about myself evokes much more reaction and not exactly what I'm aware of. It's like presenting in a dark theater hall where strong headlight is shed on you and you just can't see the faces of your audience.
Why does this whole Facebook thing matter to me?
I'm convinced that web 2 will change the world for the better. It has changed my life for the better, so I believe in it.It's so good! Once there was a blood donation event in my town, a friend answered the question of a local TV reporter explaining why he gives blood. He said "I've got so much blood. It feels so good. I want other people to have enough blood and feel so good too." It was funny that time. Now I feel it :). The thing that I'm so enthusiastic about here is my personal learning network.
I know today's teens are connected and everything but I'm not sure they will get the grip of what I call PLN world (not I call it PLN exclusively XD).
They might make use of a bit of guidance or being shown other ways to use connectedness.
Social media/Facebook is a great training ground for that.
Let’s say I see a plump girl wearing a mini skirt. I'm happy that I'm somewhat slimmer, if I express my observation (concluding that she is wrong to put on those kinds of clothes) I establish myself as a pretty girl. Also I will become too shy to wear a miniskirt, I don't want anyone to think the same thing I thought of that girl. See that one? It's my own judgement that prevents me from doing things and it all creates an unnecessary kind of shyness.
This attitude is one of the main reasons why in my culture we are a bit weak at initiatives and cooperation. Judgement instead of criticism, confusion of opinions and facts. Lack of critical thinking skills. We are in a constant competition where we are scored/judged by people with the loudest opinions.
Why not learn how to present ourselves online and how to receive others' online life portfolio? (I'm still learning it, it's not that I know how to... I mean learn it by dialogue. And doing.)
I often find that they just criticize each other thus setting up a system of judgement. That's bad because it often develops into another system of blocks, as in the above example with the mini-skirt. They just don't dare to do things because they think others think things that they think of others, which is often false. It's often paired up with the tendency of trying to please others over their own interests.
They (and everyone) might use some help with developing a healthy manner of judging others. One of the ever occurring posters of Facebook is 'THINK before you speak':
http://www.swtblessings.com/2011/08/before-you-speak-think.html
They might make use of a bit of guidance or being shown other ways to use connectedness.
Social media/Facebook is a great training ground for that.
What is blocking the way?
People tend to feel the urge to establish themselves in the world by comparing themselves to others. A widespread means of this is observing others and comparing them to ourselves. That often leads to being judgmental. That takes people nowhere.Let’s say I see a plump girl wearing a mini skirt. I'm happy that I'm somewhat slimmer, if I express my observation (concluding that she is wrong to put on those kinds of clothes) I establish myself as a pretty girl. Also I will become too shy to wear a miniskirt, I don't want anyone to think the same thing I thought of that girl. See that one? It's my own judgement that prevents me from doing things and it all creates an unnecessary kind of shyness.
This attitude is one of the main reasons why in my culture we are a bit weak at initiatives and cooperation. Judgement instead of criticism, confusion of opinions and facts. Lack of critical thinking skills. We are in a constant competition where we are scored/judged by people with the loudest opinions.
Why not learn how to present ourselves online and how to receive others' online life portfolio? (I'm still learning it, it's not that I know how to... I mean learn it by dialogue. And doing.)
Assess and evaluate instead of judge
Especially teens love spying on each others profiles, photos, timelines, they keep track of the lives of each other.I often find that they just criticize each other thus setting up a system of judgement. That's bad because it often develops into another system of blocks, as in the above example with the mini-skirt. They just don't dare to do things because they think others think things that they think of others, which is often false. It's often paired up with the tendency of trying to please others over their own interests.
They (and everyone) might use some help with developing a healthy manner of judging others. One of the ever occurring posters of Facebook is 'THINK before you speak':
http://www.swtblessings.com/2011/08/before-you-speak-think.html
A Facebook Task
Each member of the group picks the name of another member and analyzes their Facebook presence (what their photos, likes, pages, shares, updates, etc. suggest about them). They might write some paragraphs or speak about the person, they can also make a screencast. When preparing the 'product' they must bear in mind the THINK principles. (To avoid unkind and counterproductive outcomes.)
T-Is it true?
H-Is it helpful?
I-Is it inspiring?
N-Is it nice?
K-Is it kind?
As a model you can use the profile of a celebrity or a well-known third-party Facebook user, as Rose Bards suggests below in her great comment. (Is it OK to alter a post like this? I mean later? I'd say yes!)
Language
... suggests that ...
I see ... which make(s) me think ...
This person can't be/must be ...
The fact that ... shows that XY ....
As a model you can use the profile of a celebrity or a well-known third-party Facebook user, as Rose Bards suggests below in her great comment. (Is it OK to alter a post like this? I mean later? I'd say yes!)
Language
... suggests that ...
I see ... which make(s) me think ...
This person can't be/must be ...
The fact that ... shows that XY ....
...
Life skills:
Knowing yourself, online behavior, judgement vs assessment
Variation:
They just describe each other based on their Facebook activity, "make a psychological portrait" (thanks Alexandra Chistyakova for that :)
Follow up:
It can be quite surprising to read/hear what people think of you. What I often find is that people usually downgrade themselves, this activity can well lead to a better self image. (Or not?)
In a next stage students may react to what's been said about them.
You may use it a as an icebreaker activity at the beginning of a course.
It's great to clarify who is who.
Who's the teacher
If you have no aversions to expose yourself to your students ask them to share what they think about you based on your Facebook activity.
Lots of false beliefs can be eliminated :)
Life skills:
Knowing yourself, online behavior, judgement vs assessment
Variation:
They just describe each other based on their Facebook activity, "make a psychological portrait" (thanks Alexandra Chistyakova for that :)
Follow up:
It can be quite surprising to read/hear what people think of you. What I often find is that people usually downgrade themselves, this activity can well lead to a better self image. (Or not?)
In a next stage students may react to what's been said about them.
You may use it a as an icebreaker activity at the beginning of a course.
It's great to clarify who is who.
Who's the teacher
If you have no aversions to expose yourself to your students ask them to share what they think about you based on your Facebook activity.
Lots of false beliefs can be eliminated :)
Or? Please, share your ides here. Or on Facebook.
